R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
