ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
