Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
