guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
