So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
