Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
