We're like a lot better than the average bears
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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