I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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