i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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