Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
