Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
