I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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