When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
