so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
