High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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