I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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