...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
