I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
