Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
