She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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