I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
