Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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