i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
