The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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