the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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