New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
