Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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