like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
