Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
