dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
