two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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