i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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