so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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