Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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