talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
