If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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