is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
