Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
