Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
