Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
