You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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