We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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