2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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