sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
