You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
