Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My ass is underappreciated
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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