We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
