OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
