So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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