i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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