Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
